The words i could never say

 

This morning there is a heavly raining,so M & me did not go to anywhere, we weak up at 10:00 am . And then we were start cleaning the room, it is a big work. Until now, i found that M has so much jeans trouses.  I even can not believe it, he h...

Am: we went to the Arts Centre, it is really nice and interesting.

PM: INT Antractic Centre 46$

      CHCH Gandola 24$,M paid it for me

when we back home, it is already 6 o'olock.  I ...

M accompany me go to Riccarton shopping mall, it is really huge and include everything i want. so I bought a addidas shoes,a set of the Skin condition and M & me saw a movie called STREET DANCE(3D). i found too much korean restrautant, chinese less...

I came to chch city on 9th June. when i arrived at city, it has already dark. i spend almost 6hours on the way. I feel nothing in my feet. However, when i saw his face, i believe that everything will be fine.

 

10th June ...

我真的是每天都在想着他，可他呢！？

我越告诉自己，要忘掉，不要在乎他，越是难以控制的想他，这太痛苦了！我真的要疯掉了！

每次提到分手都是我，但是每次最伤心的也是我！我很我自己太软弱，太没有骨气了！

每次他把我气得够呛的时候，我就想离开他，可每次气头一过，又想起他的好来～～～

为什么每次陷入爱情，总是要把我和他分离开，总是在网上才能联络！

人啊，可恶的人啊，总是被感情牵绊，...

i am tired to thinking for him
i am tired to reading book & prepare the exam
i am tired to deal with relationship of friends
i am tired to calculate the money i spent & save
i am tired to live in this world

i could not forgot him, i miss him everyday, i even have been think about take University in ChCh~~~~but in fact, we have already not connected with each other for a while. i always think about what is he doing right now, does he miss me as much as i m...

yesterday i was ask every my girl friend to accompany me go for a walk,no body say yes i ask Candy go toshopping,she said she is studying in library i ask Serena go to gym, she said dont u say go shopping to Candy, i ask her,who tell u, she said ca...

我们真的分手了～～～昨天我问他最后一个问题，如果昨天他来代表我们还有希望，如果半夜12点之前，见不到他来！就表示我们没有希望了～～～～结果是他没有来！晚上的时候他还发短信给我，表示我们应该让彼此休息以下，而不是分手！昨晚他还问我，他不想分手，今天来行不行！？ 爱情哪有商量的余地，我等了他那么久，从元旦等到现在都已经4个月了，换来的结果确实电话里的分手！他总以为是我吵着闹着要分手，确意识不到我一直在等他的答案，他的雅思结果，他的到来～～～～每次想到这里，我都忍不住想哭，他从来都没跟我讲过他爱我，到现在...

the reasons that i want break up

when i need him,he always not here and could not help me his culture ask him could has three wife he will go back his country after the university, but i will never ever go to his country my parents ma...

this weekend i invented my friends come to my house and see movie togetherno one come!

and then, i asked mohammoed come ,he did not,evenif he is in holiday! after that , i ask my classmates to come and cooking something for her,she did not...

i got a bad emotion~~~~he came to Dunedin, we chatting by cellphone~~~~but he doesnt look like so happy~~~he is really quiet~~~i feel something is unusual~~~when he answer me,only say "yes,no or why"this kind of single word~~~~maybe he is not concentra...

我们接吻了,这是我的初吻,感觉很美好,我还有点上瘾!没有想象之中的隆重,就那么自然而然的接吻了!但随之而来的是,我越来越怀疑他喜欢的是我的人,还是我以女性存在他身边!即使是他的假期,即使他回到这来,我们仍然很难见面,我对他越来越失望,我越来越伤心,我真的会感到心痛,我提到了分手,他不同意,我问他我们有没有未来,他说他不知道!我很生气,我也恨我自己为什么要跟他开始,为什么选择他,我们为什么要在一起!我一定要下定决心离开他,不要心软,不要被他的话打动,不要相信他!不给他发信信息,不给他打电话,不联系他!...

我好难受~~~很痛苦!面对现实,理智和情感,真的使我困扰不堪~~~~~~~每次看到他给我打电话,我都忍着不接,我心里一阵一阵的痛~~~~真的有如刀绞一般,实话说今天的作业不少,却也不难,可我就是没心情看!

我恨我自己,也恨周围的人,我为什么又一次让自己陷入这种境地,明明就知道结果是痛苦的,已经得过教训了怎么还是不长记性呢!

很久没有写了,因为这个网站无缘无故的被国内"和谐"掉了~~~我恋爱了首先要讲的,不是别人就是默罕默德!我们每天都短信联系,以前我还不相信我同学远距离恋爱,还每天打手机,我都不信哪有那么多话要说,可现在就是怎么讲都不算多!而且他说他想我的时候,我的心真的会蹦蹦跳耶~~~~以前别人说的时候我都完全没感觉的!

昨天默罕默德搬走了,搬去基督城!为什么每次我意识到某人的重要性的时候都是在他离开的时候!他下午一点走的!上午他帮我换房间,换床单,搬东西,我们又一起看完了<卡洛琳>电影,当时躺在他怀里,当然中间有抱枕隔着的,他用胳膊圈着我,特别舒服,让我有种想入睡的感觉!电影结束了,我们去找town里唯一一家开业的印度餐厅,吃了我想吃很久的butter chicken,同时也是我们的最后一餐!他走的时候只说了一句ok,see you!

当我跟朋友逛完街回到家的时候,好希望他突然...

今天圣诞节,everything都显得那么美好!早上起来大家一起拆礼物,我的嘴乐得都合不上了,我从房东那里得到好多礼物哦!说来也蛮有意思的,外国人连香皂都可以用来当礼物!我的Mui一人得到一块!当然礼物不止这些,还有毛利族的手工艺品,一盒巧克力和一个雅芳的护手霜!默罕默得送我三对耳环和一条项链,掂起来还有点沉!蜻蜓形状的!我想一定不便宜!最亏的就是Mui,我只从她那里得到一对耳环,还是塑料的,包装也很粗糙!但是,一点点小小的瑕疵不会影响我的好心情!

整个上午我们都是在拆礼物...

默罕默德12月26号就要走了!我很舍不得他,也许今晚和明晚是我们共处的倒数第3和第4个晚上,可他今晚都那么忙,10点才回家,我有点生气,也有点苦恼!我不想要自己那么关心他,因为他就快离开了,可我又忍不住的想起他!我讨厌这样的自己~~~~让我自己又一次陷入泥沼之中,不能自拔!今天我把所有人的礼物都放在树下了,我希望他们会喜欢!

I am a bomb,it is damage anyone who surround me!

I have no alternative~~I have no way out!

I miss my home so much! I want go home as quickly as possible! i couldn't help to eat any food. it makes my stomach is getting bigger. i can't stand myself! i angry for everything surround me!

周天去Angle家,太凄凉了,她自己住一个house,屋子里空荡荡的,又冷的要死,我好庆幸自己没有出来住!

在她家亮了一下体重,我已经120斤了,整整长了10斤啊~~~怪不得最近觉得肚子快要绷不住了!我也明显感到,我的裤子变小了~~~真是到了不减不行的程度了!从昨天开始我就没有用晚餐了~~~虽然饥饿难忍,可为了让游泳圈消失,再饿我也得忍啊!

上周五我报名雅思考试了,日子在12月12号!可我在心理上还没有准备好~~~~

自从我开始服用调理月经的药已经过去一个星期了,月经确实开始变得正常,可我的情绪却变得越来越不正常了,我情绪很不稳定,时常烦躁,发脾气!看见什么都烦~~~~今天跟林玲和默罕默德回家的路上,我不能控制的生了很大的气,我很反常的大哭一场,当然是在我的屋子里!莎伦看出我心情不好,问我怎么样!?她跟我解释说她理解这种感受,这是正常现象,她会帮我克服情绪,希望我坚持用药,她也经历过这些!
...

今天我去学生中心看医生,关于我一个月两次月经已经持续三个月了!她给了我一个单子,意思是会给我开药,但要等下个星期再约时间回诊!总之,国外看病真的很麻烦,还要提前预约!

我跟我的台湾朋友讲这个事情!她跟我说,你看起来压力很大,情绪也会影响女人生理期,睡眠又不好,又不做运动,身体长期负担,没有得到很好的放松~~~~~说得好可怕!我现在总是感到很累,脑子里总是在不停的翻来覆去的想事情,消极情绪多于积极情绪,心情又很不稳定!也许她说得对,我真的需要好好休息一下!
...

I have no idea about how did i do on holiday! You can say it was a happy holiday and you can either say it was a sad lazy holiday! Because i have 9 days holiday, but i just only spent 2 days to play in Queenstown. It was really a wonderful holiday! Mor...

我好累~~~~感觉时间永远都不够用,感觉觉永远都不够睡,感觉精力永远都不够用!

感觉自己永远不如别人好!虽然眼看离假期越来越近,考试也越来越接近了!我身心疲惫~~~~~~

疲惫的不是身体,是精神!

我好想家~~~~那个遥远舒适的家!

今天心情不错,晚餐吃的大汉堡,饭后还有热咖啡加牛奶,还有可口的snack!我真的觉得自己能住这样的家庭是自己的幸运!可是,我的涨肚又开始了,我都不能坐下,肚子鼓的跟球一样!我特别难受,实在受不了了,我就跟房东说了,下次晚餐帮我留着它,我换个时间吃,这样我的肚子会舒服一点!她也看见我每次吃完饭都要站一个多小时,她表示理解~~~~~我想以后我会舒服点了吧!这个家庭那哪都挺好,就是离学校太远了!我有点舍不得换家庭了!但是,昨天我已经跟accommodation office 的人说过这个问题了,她们说要等...

In last day,I often felt tired,particular yesterday and today two days i am sleeping in afternoon class.This morning i found menstrual again,It's come too early,It is should come at 18 Oct,but today is 7 Oct.I insist eat that medical is not work.I am s...

距离sharon和luwana旅游结束已经很多天了!那三天里确实发生了很多事,但都有惊无险 第一天,我和默罕默德一起看电视,本来我想单独坐一个沙发的,可他说我们俩坐一个吧,正对着电视也方便,我不好意思拒绝,过了一会儿,他说为什么你还穿大衣,我说我很冷,他就把手伸出来,让我摸摸它的温度,我就用两根手指摸了一下,他手也挺凉的,整个晚上就因为看冷不冷一共手碰手三次,最夸张的一次,他竟然握我的手,半天没松开!我的心里这个打鼓哇!他还让我翻译用中文怎么讲"I want kiss you"!这还不算,...

今天不好~~~我吓坏了~~~~sharon去旅游了,只留我和沙特人在家,感觉不好,我心蹦蹦跳~~~~~发生很多事,我真的害怕了!

I'm felt i am stupid. In all day ,i have a good mood, the last class i saw a movie<Whale Rider>. Everything looks like so peaceful until after school MUI brother appeared. After school, Mui said she need waiting for her brother, so i went to...